Growing in New Ways this Fall

A couple years ago, when I started on this journey, I heard God, loud and clear, telling me He
would open doors if I would be willing to walk through them.  So, I have been having wonderful adventures ever since.

This Fall, a new opportunity came.  A dear friend and spiritual mentor had been scheduled to speak at a conference at Lutheridge, which is a Lutheran Conference center near Asheville, NC.   Months earlier, she had invited me to go along, as a traveling companion.   But several weeks before the event, a family emergency kept her from going.  So she asked me to fill in for her.  My first reaction was:  "OH, NO!  I can't do that.  Public speaking?  In front of paying guests?  No way.  I'm not qualified to do it." But as I thought about her plight, I knew the time was short and it was too late to find someone new to take her place.  So I reluctantly assured her that I would do my best and honored to relieve her of the responsibility.
The topic was "TRAVELING LIGHT, DWELLING DEEP".  About how to simplify your spiritual life to experience more Sabbath and quiet time with God.  No  problem, right?
Then the event approached, closer and closer, and I  started feeling less and less sure of myself.  All the "what if's" started filling my mind.   Doubt, fear, panic, despair, all negative thoughts.
But still I moved forward and planned my presentation.  I was using my friend's notes and props.  All I had to do was follow her outline, right?
As God would have it, a  few days before the event, I went on a pre-scheduled retreat to the Valle Crucis Hermitages, with a good friend. 

It was wonderful and restful.  The final night, I did my presentation as a test-run for my friend.  It was awful.  Terrible.  Did not work at all.  I went to bed that night with dread.  It was too late to start over.  The conference started the next day. And I was driving there directly from my retreat, so no time for new props or new handouts or time to start over.  I prayed that night for God to help me.  I was in big trouble.

The next morning, I woke up knowing the answer: "Don't try to do my mentor's presentation.  Just tell my own story.  Share what works for me."  I knew that was correct.

So I drove to Lutheridge, set up my room, and learned that the attendance was going to be less than previously expected, so there was no need for a microphone or podium.   Good.   I simplified everything, made a small circle of chairs, put my props in the floor and simply sat in the circle with the attendees and told them what works for me.  Very relaxed and honest. And it was OK.  I knew God was with me, giving me confidence and courage. 

It was a big learning experience for me.  First, I know I just need to be myself. And second, I need to just tell my own story.   And hopefully, something I say or something I share will resonate with somebody.  It's not about me.  I am just a conduit for God to flow through.
I am on a journey and the end is not in sight.  So I am moving forward on this long and winding road. It's good, and I am not alone.

Till next time,
Deep peace from Audrey in North Carolina.